Back Where You Belong
by Erin Go Bragh
Summary: Something happened between Specs and Dutchy. Dutchy's thoughts a few weeks later. slash


Disclaimer:This is slash.I don't own Specs or Dutchy or .38 Special or their song Back Where You Belong, which this is loosely based on. If you haven't heard .38 Specials they're awesome, well, if you like southern rock. This is my first slash. Don't kill me for trying.  
  
The guys told me you asked about me. To answer that question honestly, I'm just winging it. They tried asking me what happened between us. All they know is that we haven't talked to each other for a few weeks. They don't know anything about us, really. They don't know that you asked me out. They don't know I said no. They don't know that I love you. Yeah, you heard right. I love you. I never told you that. I didn't even know until a little while ago. I didn't know when you asked me out and I certainly didn't know when I said I wasn't gay and I wouldn't go out with you. I was sitting, thinking about why we weren't talking, why I missed you so much, and why I was thinking about you so much. Then, it hit me. I loved you. I was kind of shocked and I'm still recovering a bit from it. You were my best friend. I couldn't love you, could I? You liked me back, but I had turned you down. I wasn't sure how long after that your feelings would stay the same. I know I turned you down, but now I realize how wrong I was. Love is rare and really hard to find, especially knowing me. It took forever for me to find it and it surprised the hell out of me when I found out. I know I was wrong, but now the thought of you in my arms is right and I want you to be there, back where you belong.  
  
I've dated some before, but never real seriously. I was always weird and nobody liked that, I guess. Now I realize that I never really liked them either. I was looking for love in all the wrong places. It was right in front of me, but I could never see it, not 'till now. I love you, but now you're gone and I feel kind of empty, like part of me is missing. I haven't seen or talked to you since I said what I did. Ever since I first met you, I haven't gone more than a day without seeing you, we even went to the same summer camp. Every time I went through a break up, everyone told me to move on and find someone new and I would always follow their advice, but with you, I don't want to find someone new. I go on with life, but now I know what I'm leaving behind and I don't want to leave you, but the world won't stop just because I've finally realized how stupid I was and that you've probably given up on me and moved on.  
  
I know I screwed up. You don't have to tell me again. I shouldn't've said what I did, even though I didn't know just how wrong I was at the time. I haven't talked to you since, so you don't know the truth. You probably think I hate you. I did run off pretty quickly. I guess I was just scared. I wonder if you'll run if I ever tell you. You probably hate me, but all I can think of is you being with me. It's right, I know, and I won't let you get away if I can help it.  
  
I think back through our entire relationship, back to the day we met, and I realize that you've loved me for awhile. Maybe not as a partner, but love all the same. I'm never going to find someone like you again. No one knows me as well as you do and nobody else loves me the way you do and no one ever will. You are one of a kind.  
  
I remember yesterday's talk with the guys and think about you. You can't hate me if you want to know how I'm doing, can you? Or am I just being too hopeful? You can't blame me for hoping the love of my life still likes me like he said he did, can you? Even if he doesn't love me anymore, I have a feeling that my feelings are going to be around a long time. Love is hard to find and I'm not about to let it go, even though I did before, but I've changed my mind. When I get you back, I'm going to hold on to you like there's no tomorrow. I love you and I'm not about to let you go. I'm gonna try everything in my power to get you back.  
  
I pick up the phone, hoping you're home. You answer on the first ring. I nervously begin to speak. "Specs, meet me at "the tree" in fifteen minutes." I hang up quickly and walk there as fast as I can, hoping to get there before you so I can see how you've reacted to the call. If you come at all, that is. I've arrived at the tree and I can't see you anywhere. I climb into the comforting branches of the old tree and wait for you to make your arrival. While I wait, memories begin to flood my mind. I remember all of our late night meetings here when we were little, sneaking out past bedtime just to meet each other, the time I fell out of the tree and broke my arm, the time I helped you with your first break up and the time you helped me with mine.....so many memories are connected to this tree.  
  
Here you come. You're walking swiftly, your head to the ground, deep in thought. As you come closer to me, I climb down from my hiding place, startling you out of your thoughts. "Dutchy?" you ask surprised.  
  
"Yeah, Specs?" I say. You're silent, but your face says it all. You're really worried about why I asked you to come here. Maybe you think I'm going to cause you more pain. I want to smooth away all your worries. I want to make you happy. Heck, I want you. I decide that I need to end the silence between us. "Specs, I'm sorry about...before. I shouldn't have said that. I don't know if I meant it then, but I couldn't say it to you truthfully now." I wait for you to get what I'm saying.  
  
"What do you mean, Dutchy?"  
  
"I mean this...." I'm leaning forward, my heart racing at being so near to you. My heart leaps as you lean in, too, but wait.....you're pulling back. Why? "What's wrong?" I ask.  
  
"I-Dutchy, why are you doing this?" I can feel the pain in your voice and it hurts me, too.  
  
"I love you, that's why."  
  
"You.......what?!"  
  
"I love you."  
  
"No, you don't. You just think you do. You've convinced yourself...or something....."  
  
"No. It's true. I do love you." Just to prove it to you, I grab the back of your head and pull you towards me. The kiss is perfect, just like I've imagined for these past weeks. You pull away, grinning. I smile, too. "Believe me now?" Your only answer is to kiss me again. We spend another couple of hours out there, talking, and doing other things that are much more enjoyable for me, if you get my drift. We finally end up sitting in each other's arms, leaning against the base of the tree. And you're finally back where you belong. 


End file.
